Thursday, December 23, 2021

in praise of suffering

It goes without saying - it's probably a weird thing to point out - that each of us prefers to have experiences that bring us pleasure, rather than having experiences of suffering and challenge. We think there's something wrong when we suffer. It's a deeply ingrained assumption not just in individuals but in our culture. The whole point of therapy is to get you to feel better. There's a really good book about cognitive behaviour therapy, by David Burns, called The Feeling Good Handbook. 

That's the ultimate goal - to feel better - to not experience the kind of extreme levels of distress that mental health issues bring. I think like that too, of course. No one wants to suffer. No one wants to be ugly or unloved or unwanted. No one wants to fail. No one wants to be misunderstood and rejected. No one wants to miss out. 

But then there's the other side. There's a value in suffering that pleasure just doesn't have.