the key of change

I remember when I was studying English at uni and I was really getting into literature. I read and studied Frankenstein, Wuthering Heights, Middlemarch, Portrait of a Lady, Passage to India, and lots of other great literature. Some film versions of Frankenstein and Wuthering Heights came out and I was so excited to see them. I imagined that they would do justice to these great novels. Again and again I was disappointed, until I came to the conclusion that it can't be done - you just can't make a great film of these great novels. 

I still think there's some truth to that. You can't really do justice to a novel in film or a TV show, at least in the way that I once thought. A film is never going to do justice to what I find in these novels. What I've discovered through watching some really good shows that are based on some great novels, is that you have to change the story radically in order to do justice to it. 

You have to make something of it - something new. For example, at the center of the TV show, The Man in the High Castle, is a subversive film but at the center of the book, is a book. In the TV show, Brave New World, pretty much everything - at least all the action of the story - is different from the novel. Some key things are the same, like the names of some characters, but more importantly, what is the same between the two is the issues and the context, the dilemmas, the human story. In order to tell that same story in a TV show and in our era, you have to change it. You have to get the idea - or your own sense of the idea - and then make a TV show about that idea. 

hold fast

Another reason we don't perceive the speeds we're actually going at is because they remain consistent. It's like when you're in a car or a train that's travelling at 80 kmh. You can read or play a game or eat. You can sleep even though you're moving at 80 kmh. But if the vehicle were to suddenly stop completely, you would fly forward and get injured. 

perspective

At the equator, the earth is spinning at 1,040 miles per hour. The earth moves through space at 67,000 miles per hour. Our solar system spins around the galaxy at 490, 000 miles per hour.

The reason we don't perceive those immense speeds is because of the magnitude - the size - of the earth and space. 

sin tax

I would maintain a certain rhythm and then bring in a different rhythm superimposed on the earlier one, so that both were going at the same time, and there was an element of spontaneity. Once you've got the two rhythms going on their respective levels, there becomes a third rhythm made up of the other two, so you're just playing one rhythm. 

æsthetic

What interests me about Andy Warhol and some other artists is the creative audacity they manifest. They do something real and interesting in the artistic realm. 

just

Subtle effects can have major consequences, especially when it comes to the mind and things that affect the mind. That's something I've really come to appreciate anew as I have tapered off benzos. 

I'm down to less than 2 x 2 mg of Valium a week now, most weeks. Most days I take .25 x 2 mg, which works out to 1.75 x 2 mg a week. So, you'd think that the amount of Valium in my system would mean that I don't really need it anymore and it wouldn't affect me much anymore, but no, that's not the case. I'm getting close to the end. As of this month - September 2026 - I started to have some days when I didn't take any Valium at all. Passing through that barrier was exciting. For the first two weeks of this month, I had 2 days each week of no Valium, but then, towards the end of those 2 weeks, it hit me really hard. It wreaked havoc with my sleep and mental health, and I still haven't recovered - still struggling. So, I've gone back to .25 x 2 mg a day, for the moment, and when I've stabilized, which should be soon I think, I'll have another go at some zero days. 

I've also rediscovered the effects of caffeine. For a long time I only drank decaf, but then lately I've been experiencing a really oppressive kind of fatigue. The combination of being so exhausted and not being able to sleep is exquisite torture. So, I had the idea of trying a decaffeinated coffee, maybe 2 or 3 times a day. I wasn't sure if it would work, but I wanted to give it a go, and it turned out to be really effective. I don't know if it was just psychosomatic, but the first sip I felt a difference, felt re-energized. Just having that little extra bit of control again, is very encouraging. It's intoxicating, but in a good way. 

path taken

The first time I went to university was in 1986. I was doing a combined commerce/ law degree, but I didn't end up finishing it. I chose commerce because I really liked economics when I studied it in high school, but I bombed out of commerce. I failed all 3 of my commerce subjects in that first semester. The kind of economics I liked was macroeconomics but none of the courses in first year commerce were about that. There was accounting, microeconomics and quantitative methods. 

So, after that I transferred to doing a combined Jurisprudence/ Law degree, which was basically a lot of law, with a minor stream of some other subject of my choice. I ended up choosing economic history.

That first time, I got through 2 years of studying full-time but then ended up doing some other things - working, travelling, etc. Then, in 1996 I went back to uni and this time I was doing a combined Arts and Education degree majoring in English and History. Again, it didn't work exactly as planned and I didn't finish the education degree but I did finish the Arts degree. 

I still worked in education. I did a lot of English tutoring, and in 2009 I did my Certificate IV in Training and Assessment, then I worked in vocational education as a trainer and developer for around 7 years.