I remember times when things were so bleak. I didn't know that it was possible for things to be so dark, life to be so painful and to be under mental stress all the time.
I remember the day that it started. Nothing major happened. I don't know exactly what triggered it. I have some idea. It was a terrifying state of mind that I was plunged into and it lasted 3 or 4 years. Each year I would think, maybe I will get better this year.
I did eventually get better when I started a particular medication in 2014, but at the same time I started taking Valium. Then 7 years later, things weren't going so well again. I was drinking as well, and having problems with anxiety and depression, and those problems were made worse by Valium and alcohol.
Then in 2021, I got serious about tapering off Valium. Regardless of what anybody else says - all the experts - let me tell you the reality, at least for me. Tapering off Valium, even gradually, put me back in a mental place as bad as I experienced between 2010 and 2014.
Again, it's been 3 years, and I'm starting to emerge. I'm starting to come to life and be able to breathe.
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