new

I'm excited about where I'm at with my Valium taper. Things have really changed in the last couple of weeks. I feel a lot better and I'm noticeably less reliant on Valium and fully coming off Valium is a realistic proposition in the near future. 

Life is very different now. It has been like living through a nightmare the last couple of years and it seemed like it was going to continue to be just as challenging indefinitely - like this was my new reality. 

It's a vindication. People didn't believe me. They thought I ought to be able to taper off in a few weeks at most or just stop cold turkey. I could just stop and it may be difficult for a few weeks but then things would improve. They assured me I could do that and told me about other people they know who have done that. And I didn't know. Maybe they're right. After all, they are experts: doctors, nurses, social workers, psychologists. 

So I thought that maybe there is just something wrong with me. Maybe this painful mental condition is just my destiny. But no - I am feeling HEAPS better. The state I was in was not how I'm destined to live the rest of my life. 

Even if that was the rest of my life, I was resolved to live my new life - to exercise every day, have a quiet time every day, work every day, eat healthily every day, do meaningful activities like reading and art every day, and all my other daily goals. I started living my new life when it was hard and I'm going to continue because it's my life now.