the beginning

Detox really did represent a fresh start for me, but not just a new chapter or phase in my life. It was a whole new life. I think that's one of the reasons why I haven't relapsed. You wouldn't give alcohol to a baby or a child. So, if I have begun a new life, alcohol has no place in it. 

I didn't come up with the idea that I was beginning a new life, someone suggested it to me. It was a social worker. I was saying that the main challenge for me at that point - 2 or 3 days into detox - was the intense depression and anxiety that engulfed me, especially in the afternoon. She said that that's completely normal, and then she reframed it by suggesting this idea that I was beginning a new life. It wasn't the end - a downward spiral of never ending depression and anxiety - it was the beginning of a life without alcohol. 

Of course it was going to be raw and difficult at first. New life is like that.