polarisation

in my experience, arguments are a waste of time. You can think of all these great points to make your case, but it's as if the other person sees every single one of the facts or pieces of content through a different lens. You think, surely I've got them now, but they look at the same fact(s) or text and they're convinced it proves their point. What is going on? You feel like there's a mountain of evidence, but none of it changes their mind. They have an answer for every single point. And, to you, their answers seem contrived and convoluted - seems like they have to perform mental gymnastics to make their case, but they're totally convinced and completely closed to your argument. 

The paradigms, assumptions and narratives through which we perceive reality really are like a kind of lens. We don't see lenses, we see through them. We think we're perceiving reality, the texts we engage with, the things people say, the events we experience, directly, but we aren't. 

It seems like this is a more important issue in the 21st century than it's ever been before, because society is increasingly polarised, and, in many cases, there is literally no common ground between the opposing sides. There probably is some common ground, but it seems like people are more interested in the differences - the conflicts. The conflicts are all encompassing. The conflicts subvert any common ground.