moving on

Tapering off valium has forced me to push myself, because relief is nowhere in sight. There is no escape, no refuge to return to. I've come to like pushing myself, and I like it all the more now that, at this point in my taper, there's a sense in which I can push myself all the way through. 

It's losing its grip on me, and when I push on, I'm not pushing on into further difficulty and heavier storms and never-ending challenge. No, I'm pushing into relief and strength and life.