fall

As I make progress on my taper and become less reliant on Valium, and the end of my taper comes into view, I have entered a new phase. My depression has reasserted itself. 

It's a different kind of depression now. It's not the depression of my withdrawal from Valium. It's my old depression from before that, and it's a reversion to deeply ingrained thought patterns. 

It's scary. I've fought this thing and I've made great progress, only to end up facing this, in some ways, greater, lifelong challenge. But then I realize something. 

I'm not at the mercy of this demon like I have been in the past. I've emerged from my battle with Valium, better, stronger, more whole, and with a battle-hardened spirit.