It's never going to be a good idea to have a drink. It's never OK for me. I'm lucky that I made that mistake before. After not drinking for a couple of years - and feeling heaps better because of it - one night I gave into someone who was trying to get me to have a drink. I thought, I've gone all this time without drinking. I can have a drink tonight, and then just not drink again after that. But it doesn't work like that with me. After crossing that line, there's no going back - you're on that path again.
I'm also lucky that it got so bad when it did. I was tapering off valium (which is a whole other story) and I was pushed a bit faster than was comfortable. That's fine, I thought, I was used to drinking. I can just drink to help me cope with the challenge of taking less valium. And damn - it took a hold so fast. Soon, I needed alcohol to do anything. I was drinking at least 2 bottles of red wine a day.
It was a surprise. My drinking had been a problem, but it was never out of control. Now it was. But thank God I was able to get into a detox facility and it was awesome. The staff there were incredible, and the treatment was great. I stopped drinking. It took some time to get in there. I was drinking heavily for about 6 months.
During that whole time, I wasn't eating very much, and I was only drinking red wine. I thought - it's a drink. It will hydrate me. But no, as I learnt later, it actually does the opposite. It dehydrates you. When I went into detox, I was so dehydrated that they couldn't put in an IV and they couldn't draw blood to do a blood test, because my blood was so thick.
So, I'm lucky that it got so bad, because it means that I will never go back to that. And I'm lucky that I once before I made the mistake of thinking I could have a drink and that would be OK. Having learnt both of those lessons ensures that I will not start down that path again.
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