lore

I keep an ongoing to-do list, and I'm adding to it all the time. The problem is that it's not organised. I include different kinds of things. There are admin tasks and life goals, and a whole range of different things. Another problem is that I have to read through the whole list when I'm thinking about what I need to do. And, when I do that, the things I don't really want to do get put off. 

I think if I had a good system, the system would dictate which task I do on any particular day, and I wouldn't have to think about it. Maybe bullet journaling is a solution. I actually really like very elaborate systems and rules. I really do like rules even though I hate them. I'm constantly working on a system of rules that I can apply to eliminate the need for me to think and I'm also constantly complicating those rules because I need to think. 

It's a dialectical process. I want nothing more than to know exactly what I should do all the time, but I also want to figure that out.

It's like when you play a video game. As you get better at it, you get into the rhythm and you're able to perform well just by following the patterns you've learnt, but it stops being satisfying if that's all there is...just following the patterns you've learnt mechanically. The rules need to always be at risk of failing (or maybe you fail to follow them) and then you have to react and think on your feet. As you do that, your system becomes more complex, rich and compelling.