ends

Since I learnt that, in stopping drinking I was beginning a new life, I've believed in that new life. I learnt the nature of it. My old life was characterized by withdrawal and rumination. My new life was one of engagement and activity. 

All the challenges I've been through and I'm still going through, have driven me into my new life. I know that's the solution. To put it in other terms, it's about actually doing my daily goals rather than just wanting to do them. It took pain to get me to do that because you can't do it when you're comfortable. 

The depression, struggle, anxiety, despair, weakness doesn't mean what it used to mean. It used to mean loss and futility and rejection. It used to be negative. Now, it's proof to me that I'm making progress. It's like friction or like a work of renovation. It doesn't feel good but it's building me. It's not breaking me down.