pushing back

It's easy for me to fall back into rumination, and it's like falling into a hole, or it can be. Things have changed though. There's an alternative to rumination. 

Through a lot of conversations and advice and reflection, I've learnt to push back against rumination. There have been key pieces of advice and realisations that I have used to build a framework for my life. 

There are 3 conversations that stand out to me as being really important: 

Conversation 1

This one probably happened after conversation 2 but for some reason it seems to fit better before it. There's a logical progression from 1 to 2 to 3. This conversation was about the nature of the change I need to undertake. The basic idea is that I need to move from rumination to action. I need to change from protecting and nurturing my mental health issues to protecting and nurturing my life.

Conversation 2

This is the conversation that really got me to see the change as being from an old life to a new life. 

Conversation 3

This is the conversation that really cemented the idea in my mind that the way forward and into my new life lay through being fiercely committed to achieving as many as possible of my daily goals every day. 

It was really hard at first. Safety seemed to lie in withdrawing and ruminating, and doing my daily goals felt painful and hard. But the good thing was that my life at this time was painful and hard. So I learnt that, even though I didn't feel it, the way forward lay in pushing into my daily goals and pushing away from withdrawal and rumination and what felt like comfort. Then after a while, I built some momentum. So now I'm habitually achieving a lot of my goals every day.