The actual experience of things is always different from the way they are represented. And sometimes we take cues about how to respond to our situation from other people's representations of that situation. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes other people do know better than us or their views have some kind of authority that we should listen to.
But bottom line, the only person who really knows your experience and your situation is you. You can and should draw on the advice and views of others, but you have to write your own story. What you think is right for you probably is right for you.
Within you is a vast unexplored realm that only you have access to. It can be whatever you want it to be. I think it's possible to confine yourself even though in your own realm you are free. You're held captive by narratives and strictures that the world imposes on you. You're transfixed by stories about how you are lacking - how you're not this and not that. The stories are told by a disembodied voice with no identity. You don't explore your realm - the realm that only you know about and only you have access to.
But you can. Your realm awaits and there is no obstacle in the way. You don't have to wait.
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