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It's a weird thing - a mystery - how your own mind can cause you such intense suffering. There's something about it that doesn't make sense. How can we be at the mercy of our selves?

but I have an idea about how it works. there's something about the world or the reality in which we live that reacts in a certain way to things that are really good. For example, it's almost a given that talented comedians have severe battles with depression. I would say most, if not all, of the funniest people in the last 100 years or so struggled with depression. 

and same with other talented or smart people. Sylvia Plath, David Foster Wallace, Virginia Woolf, just to name a few.....and I think their depression is related to their intelligence. 

being good at thinking means you have the capacity to think really intensely - to worry and ruminate and over-react. people who are creative and have highly developed sensibilities that enable them to produce great music, artworks or literature, are highly sensitive, and that can lead to them experiencing a lot of pain. 

but it seems like we're all, regardless of intellect or talent, subject to this dynamic. strength and weakness are intimately bound up with each other.