نام

this thing would shut me down

it keeps me from expression

i'm not going to give it a name. we accept all the labels too easily.....and then, even as I assert that - express my view - i'm defeated and wrong, because i rely on the labels to get what i need

and after all it seems like it wins, because it does keep me from expression and it does keep me in a place where there's a lack of hope or meaning and a place where I'm not whole ///

if only giving up was a way to find some kind of peace

it's ironic that this thing that attacks me manifests in the appearance of passivity and apathy, which is the very opposite of my experience of it