crises

It was a failure inside a success inside a failure inside a success inside a failure.....

none of those failures really bothered me. sometimes failure bothers me, but then I realise it's an opportunity to start something new. 

sometimes that new thing is more directly related to the failure. like, say if you do a course, and you fail the course, you might do the course again and work harder so that you can pass. but you have to weigh up whether that's what you want to do. just doing the course again, in itself, will not lead to success. 

then there are other times when failure represents an opportunity to do something different - to take a different course

acceptance is crucial. it's true what all the 12 step programs teach ⇾ the first step that you have to take in dealing with your issues is to acknowledge those issues. if you never accept and admit that you have a problem you will never make any progress in dealing with that problem. 

we tend to think of acceptance as a passive thing...like you can only accept bad things ||| you resign yourself to the unpleasant truth, you accept that you've lost something or failed or that you're not good in some way ¿ but maybe victory and progress are things that you have to accept as well. maybe changing your inner world involves accepting the reality that you don't have to think and feel the way you have been thinking and feeling

another example of acceptance is related to control /// especially of feelings. We begin to have more control over our thoughts and feelings when we give up trying to control them. 

a lot of this relates to the 'journey of the hero'. the first thing that happens after the would-be hero receives the call to go on the quest, is that they run away. they refuse the call, because it's overwhelming. that refusal is a necessary step. it's a natural reaction. unless the quest is something that inspires real fear in you, it's not the journey of the hero. another way to put it is to say that the call comes in the form of a crisis. it both terrifies you and motivates you. it's not an ordinary fear that you can avoid - like, if you're afraid of heights you avoid heights

this is like getting attacked by a savage beast or by a demon. you have to fight. so that's accepting the quest. you feel utterly weak and defeated but you're forced to be strong. then, at some point, when you feel at your absolute weakest and you still have to do stuff, you cross a threshold. that's when things become so hard that you feel like you literally can't go on. you have to do something and you think that you just can't do it, but you have to do it....so you do it....and it's very empowering. In that moment when you thought you couldn't do something, but then you do it anyway, you come to a new realisation about what you are. It's like a transformation. you know that you are strong, because when you were at your weakest, you didn't let that define you.