abjection

i was looking at the draft I wrote for nanowrimo. It's around 9,600 words long. as I look at it now, I can see how I could add to it. it's basically autobiographical and revolves around a couple of issues that have been important in my life. in the later chapters, I've planned out which time periods are going to be covered in each chapter, and I haven't written much yet for most of the later chapters, so I could keep adding to it \\\

the problem is that it's not really creative writing

I've been reading Sayaka Murata's second novel that has been translated into English - Earthlings. I really enjoyed Convenience Store Woman. It's about a woman whose greatest joy and fulfilment in life is working in a convenience store. I had heard that it was based on Murata's experience, so I had this image of her in my mind as someone who is like the main character, and loves working in a convenience store even though she's a successful writer, and has no interest in anything else, including getting married - she just wants to work in the convenience store. but I watched an interview in which she talked about the book and that's not the case. It is (loosely) based on her experience working in a convenience store as a student, but it's a critique of the kind of mentality that she felt was expected - not a celebration of it, as I thought...in the interview she talked about how that was what the work culture was like at the convenience store - as if everything was centred on serving the store. For example, you had a responsibility to keep yourself well, mainly so that you could effectively perform your duties in the store. She talked about how people would get sick but they would come to work anyway because the job was more important than their health. 

sometimes I really don't get the subtext. 

I'm not very far into Earthlings. apparently - from reading the reviews - it takes a very shocking and dark turn as it progresses. the consensus is that it's good but disturbing. the reviewers used words like stomach-turning and shocking. it sounds good. I think there's not enough extremeness (I know that's not a word but 'extremism' doesn't convey the meaning I'm looking for). Modern literature is so tame...maybe it's just the books I've read....but I think about a book like Wuthering Heights (which is my all time favourite novel) and how, in its day it was considered all those things - shocking, disturbing, depraved, focused on everything ugly instead of everything pleasant and beautiful. It seems like no one of any consequence in the literary world would have dreamed that this novel would one day be considered a great work of literature, as it now is. 

but Wuthering Heights still divides people...people tend to either love it or hate it.