neural pathways

One of the challenging aspects of depression is how all-encompassing it is. An unsolvable problem consumes all your thoughts. The worry (to call it that) is so deeply ingrained in your mind that everything flows down into it, and you feel completely trapped. You feel like your mind is your enemy. It inflicts pain on you and makes your life miserable, even untenable. 

One of the things I've been learning is the power of developing new neural pathways. When your depressed, you don't feel interested in anything because your mind is fully occupied with the unsolvable problem. It goes round and round in the way that worry does - your mind goes over and over the same dark scenario, never able to arrive at any kind of resolution, because that's the nature of that kind of thought. For some reason that's the way our minds work. We think worrying helps. But worry is never about finding constructive solutions or healing. It's about fear. 

It's possible to develop new neural pathways - new thought pathways and associations, about things that you find interesting and enagaging. But you have to be proactive about it. You have to lay the foundation of those new paths. It's never just going to happen, because all your brain knows when you're depressed is the toxic and painful thougts and feelings associated with depression. You're not interested in anything. It's a fact. You wish you were. You wish you could be enthusiastic about something or look forward to something or enjoy something, but you can't because all you're aware of is your depression. 

The solution is to force yourself to be more active mentally and physically rather than ruminating or worrying all the time and withdrawing. When you do that, you begin to lay a pathway. You begin to inscribe new thought patterns in your brain, and you give your thoughts somewhere else to go. You're not trapped by your own mind in that painful place.