I heard a really good analogy yesterday in some YouTube videos I watched, on a channel called Kirsten — Sobriety Bestie. She was saying that recovery is like chopping down a tree. You're doing all these things and it doesn't seem like they are contributing much to your progress, but when you keep chopping, you eventually get to a breaking point where the tree falls. When you persevere with the positive steps you're taking, you will wake up one day and be really better.
This is like a counterpoint to the usual story of benzo withdrawal not being linear and it being a marathon not a sprint. I think both are true and helpful analogies.
I'm still so drawn to my old thinking. That's my life. A lot of rumination and passivity. Being fulfilled and actualized is something....I was going to write, 'I can't even imagine', but I can imagine it, and every day I'm chopping. Chopping has become really interesting. My fascination with chopping has grown. I've developed new ways of chopping. On the foundation of rudimentary chopping, I have built an edifice of what can only be described as the baroque mode of chopping.
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