sick

When I first came to the understanding that I 'have' depression, I didn't really believe in it. I wasn't sure if it was a real thing or just a kind of framing that we do. But medication worked. What a relief! 

With anxiety, it was much more obvious that it was a real thing. I started having trouble breathing and having panic attacks. The way I understand it is that anxiety is all the worry and fear and angst that you keep repressing and then suddenly one day it just hits you hard. It seems to come out of the blue. It's your physiology saying - hey! Stop repressing all that stuff. You need to address this. 

I think we generally see illness as something that's all bad and kind of random and meaningless, but, at least some of the time, that's not the case at all. Illness is your body's and mind's way of healing. Like, for example, when you throw up, that's your body very actively getting rid of something. Your body goes, Nup - not having that. Fever is when your body raises its temperature to fight infection. A friend of mine once explained to me about all the chemical reactions and interactions that happen in your body when you cut yourself. It was a really complex and intricate process. The body makes an assessment of the situation and responds accordingly.