Withdrawal has enlisted my demons, but I have enlisted my new self. It doesn't matter that I've never won that fight because I've never fought that fight.
When I first became a Christian, I thought something magical would happen, or at least something paranormal. I had a really exalted view of what a Christian is, and I could never, in my present form, live that life. So, I thought I would be transformed when I took the step of becoming a Christian. But I wasn't transformed. I learnt that faith and love only mean something when they come from a human heart, as opposed to a super-human heart.
The current challenge is like that in a way. To live, I need my new self. But it's not magic, it's alchemy.
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