Sunday, February 26, 2023

Tসմɛ

Time is weird at the moment. Things get dated very quickly now. Knowing how to use technology from 2 years ago doesn't really give you currency. But, at the same time, some events from further back than 2 years have an inordinate amount of influence over the present. 

I noticed this when I was watching a video from 2021. Because of the subject matter, I felt like, this is recent. It's very current. But then I thought, actually it's a little bit old - it's from 2 years ago. But then, going against that was the fact that there were things in the video related to Covid - just things like people wearing masks and social distancing - and Covid feels very current and recent. But then it made me realize...hang on...actually covid is from 1 or 2 years before this video was made.  

The last few years have been very intense for me personally. 2022 was really a watershed, but in many ways that year was the culmination of a cluster of crises that began in 2019 and still continue. From 2016 to 2019 I became very aware that the course of my life personally can be very different from the course of things in my country and in the world. I felt like things were going to hell in the world between 2016 and 2019 but in many ways my life was really flourishing. Then, since around the middle of 2019, my life has been going to hell. The world is still going to hell, also, of course. 

2022 was a turning point. I always wanted to be fixed, and in the past I felt like at times, I was fixed. I was rescued from myself by medication and therapy and treatment. The big lesson I've learnt has been that I have to help myself and that recovery is not something that happens to you, it's something that you actively engage in. 

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