speak

I've always been interested in the eloquence of non-verbal communication. Like gestures, for example. A gesture - a mere position of the hand - can say so much. 

That's why I like the music video of Christina Aguilera's Fighter so much. You see the moth that's struggling to fly, then the feet of the ballerina and she's on her toes but it looks wrong and painful and she has some kind of crutches....and then the hands...with their intricate and precise, and yet chaotic, movements that are so expressive of pain....and beauty. Then back to the moth, and so on. It's a masterpiece. 

Even with words, the slightest intonation, the smallest modulation in a speaker's or singer's voice, can be so expressive. 

Some people are too polished. They know all the right gestures to make, how to stand, where to pause, but their performance is so tightly controlled that it's asphyxiated. Just like with art, how the materials need to be a little bit unmanageable, with teaching and public speaking, there needs to be an element of fear. 

That's what has made me love teaching so much, because I used to be terrified of speaking in front of people. So, when I was able to do it, it was a real thrill. And the fear was gone. When you've been afraid of something and then you can do it, it's such a buzz. 

It was becoming a Christian and how devastating that was that 1. drew me to education because I was starving for something good to grasp a hold of and 2. empowered me to teach by compelling me to overcome my fear of speaking in front of people, because when I became a Christian I thought I had to tell everybody I came in contact with about God. So, I learnt to speak even when it was the last thing I wanted to do and the most uncomfortable act imaginable.