the shape of thought

How can I focus so intently on the dark? 

You can't. The darkness is not a thing you can look at and discern. That's why my thinking is all questions - round and round - with no answer. 

How does thought work? 

How can thought take this shape that is so dynamic and full but that cancels itself?

It doesn't make sense. Like, if it's going to close me down, why is it always closing me down - always in the act of closing me down - but it doesn't close me down? It's a movement, a statement, an act, an event, a 'something'....about nothing. 

So, I need to learn something better - a new way.