I catastrophize and awfulize. I think - my current state of mind is painful and unbearable - and I foresee the same for my future, and that way of thinking brings about what I fear.
It's a loop, but I think I can loosen the loop. I keep thinking of 'loosen the noose on the rope' from 'Hi Ren'.
My daily goals and the way that I've been driven to actually do them every day instead of them just being goals - that has changed things.
There is hope. I was watching a video of someone that I'm not exactly a fan of, but I like what he said in this video. He was talking about making art, and he was saying, make art for yourself. That's what you should do. It doesn't matter who sees it or whether it's appreciated or whether it's 'good'. Do art that you love to do.
I can stop my rumination. If I hold this luminous idea in my mind, there's no room for rumination. I can crowd out that oppressor. I can grow something else - something living.
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