I feel like I can taste it now. I'm so used to thinking that the non-linear nature of healing is a bad thing, that I forget that it can also be a really good thing. In the game of snakes and ladders, there are ladders, and in this healing process, although it's up and down, windows and waves, opening a window is a powerful thing. It's life changing and unforgettable.
There's a sense in this process that you're never going backwards. It feels like it, or it feels like you're stuck, but that's not true. We heal.
I'm learning something. It's like I'm digging and digging and I believe, from what I've been told and what I've figured out, that I will be able to break through. But it's not a reality. I'm still digging in darkness, and it seems like that's all there is...just digging.
But I can feel the breakthrough, and I can actually open a window. I'm learning to do that.
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