drugs

I'm glad that my drinking problem got so very bad - as bad as it's possible to get - because that's one of the reasons why I will never drink again. 

The other reason is that stopping drinking is/ was overshadowed by stopping valium. Not drinking is easy compared with stopping valium. But also, drinking would mess up my process of withdrawing from valium, and my life depends on coming off valium. 

I'm on my way. Like I wrote earlier, I can see the end now. Before, until recently, it was an apparently endless road stretching ahead, which is quite a burden. Even a marathon has an ending. Now I have a kind of momentum.