engraved

Generally people think that if they're struggling in some way or facing challenges or in crisis, that something has gone wrong. I've always thought that too, but my view has changed. 

The combination of anxiety and depression with the grueling (at least for me - I know it varies) process of tapering off Valium, has been the biggest challenge I have ever faced, but it has literally given me a new life. I had to change, and I wouldn't have changed in any other way. I had to be in crisis all the time.

I'm glad that my drinking nearly killed me because I know now that I can't drink ever again. I'm also glad that the tapering process is so grueling and debilitating, because it means that I can't drink. That was why my drinking got so bad when it did - I was pushed a bit faster than I could handle to reduce my dose of valium, and I turned to alcohol as a way of coping, and it just took over my life within days. 

Then, for about 6 months I had this serious drinking problem. Detox saved my life, but not in a passive way. It was something that I did with help. Their treatment was excellent. I couldn't have asked for better. But I had to stop drinking. They couldn't do that for me. They facilitated it in a really excellent way. 

I don't crave alcohol. I'm not tempted. It would literally kill me if I had a drink, and I'm glad about that.