fighting for life

When you go through challenging times, it's easy to think your life is on hold. Once you get through this then you will resume life. 

That's how I usually think about crises I go through, but the current challenges I'm going through are making me think differently, because they're not in any hurry to leave me. 

I'm seeing positive changes but, at the same time, the challenges are still hard. But then when I think about it, it's the challenges that are driving me to make the positive changes. 

I get up in the morning and I'm like, do I still have to fight? Does it still have to be this difficult?

But the really great thing is that it really isn't as difficult as it was. My new life is really taking shape. But I know how important it is that I don't get to relax - I don't get to go, phew, I'm glad that's over, because that's my old self talking. 

I'm learning that my new life is not going to just occur magically. It's mine and it's growing but that growth involves fighting. 

It makes me think of that scene in the movie Braveheart. One of his companions says something to William Wallace like, maybe one day, after all this fighting, we'll get to live out our dreams. And Wallace replies, isn't that what we've been doing?