Thursday, November 3, 2022

the other side

It took me longer to learn to play guitar than it did the other kids. I just couldn't master changing chords without stopping. I would have to stop briefly, reposition my fingers, and then start playing again. Everyone else seemed to have mastered the way you have to change chords while you're strumming and plucking. 

Everyone assured me that I would eventually get it if I kept practicing. I wasn't making any progress though. However much I practiced I wasn't getting any closer to being able to change chords instantaneously. I wondered if I would ever get it. Then one day I had a breakthrough. I realized that what I need to do is move my fingers before the moment when the new chord starts. Once I realized that I was doing it.  

I think personal change is a bit like that. You have to keep doing things before you feel ready. The struggle seems like it will never end and you feel like you'll never change, never make progress. You get pushed beyond what you think you can handle, and then....this is where I'm learning a different and better way. 

After enduring what seems impossible and unbearable, and then experiencing some relief - a window after the wave - I've learnt not to ease up. I was pushed beyond what I thought was possible so, now that things are a bit easier, I'm going to push myself beyond what I think I can bear. 

I need to do that. Because the change I want to bring about is huge. The me that achieves my daily goals does not exist and is beyond my comprehension. 

I can't do it just like I couldn't change chords. I keep practicing. I'm doing my daily goals, and the struggle is getting harder and I'm not progressing. And the answer is to keep practicing. It's both impossibly hard and incredibly easy at the same time. 

No comments:

Post a Comment