the process

Romans 5:3 - 4 talks about how we rejoice in our suffering because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance produces character and character produces hope. 

It's easy to wish this process was done and I was healed and recovered, but I don't know what that looks like. I've always struggled with anxiety, depression and rumination. My whole life I've battled them, and now I'm in the process of overcoming them. So, I'm going somewhere I've never been. I'm not going back to the way I was. That's exactly what I'm not doing. 

So, I have a different view about the end of this process. I'm not hanging on, waiting for it to end. I've stopped hoping for that. I've become resigned to life being challenging for the foreseeable future. As time goes by, it gets harder but it gets better too.  

I'm learning to fight and to live in that state of struggle, and that's why I don't really think as much about the end. The end seems a long way off. I'm looking forward to it, but the way I'm going to get there is by working through this process, which takes time. 

Every day I keep working on putting down and letting go of the rumination and picking up my daily goals.