banality

No one will commend you for simply going out of your house, even though for some people at some times, that's a challenge that takes real courage. 

That's where I was a couple of years ago. Just going out was hard. Going into a shop and buying one thing was even harder, and buying more than one thing was virtually impossible. When you buy one thing, you can go in quickly and get out quickly through the self-serve checkout. It's important not to rush too much though because then you're creating panic. Buying two things is so hard. You've got that one item, and you could just go to the self checkout and you'd be done, but to get the second item, you have to walk in a different direction to the self checkout, and it's an agonizingly long walk. You get there, pick up item 2, and you still have the long walk to the checkout to go and then the arduous task of standing in one place, scanning your items, getting your card out, tapping, etc. I know it doesn't make sense, but some people will understand. 

Anxiety makes it hard for me to walk, and if someone is looking at me it's even harder. 

I remember after I started to see some improvement, one day I was able to actually go to the chemist AND go to the supermarket in one trip. Of course recovery is not linear and, after that day, I would struggle again to even go out or go to the shop. The whole of the way to the shop was fraught and awkward. If somebody looked at me I would have trouble walking. All the way I was telling myself that if it was too hard to actually go in to the shop, I didn't have to. I always did though. Only someone who has experienced this issue will understand how it's possible for the simple action of walking into a shop and buying some things to take courage. 

I'm much better now. None of that is even an issue. One recent development is that I can leave the house and go to the shop or wherever without carrying a rescue dose of Valium with me. I always used to carry it just in case. Even when I went for a run in the morning, I would take one or two tablets with me. Then, it got to a point when I thought, I don't really need it if I'm just going for a run. Then, at a later date, I thought, I don't really need it if I'm just going to the shop.